Mr Perfect Speaks

John enjoys speaking to his mirror. It's either the mirror or little ghost children like Casper.

The Swami Is Twelve Weeks Old Today

Last night, John was playing with his woobbie and it wound up on his head. We couldn't resist taking this photo. It may not be very PC, but he did it to himself with a little help from the photo shoot director. I could have said that his name was Kid Psycho, a former member of the Legion of Super Heroes; however, I think only one person would get the reference.

John is officially twelve weeks old today. He's in great spirits and perfect health. Let's keep on keepin' on.

The Shirt Says It All

I asked myself what was the best adjective to describe our John. The words that came to mind were legion; however, one kept on popping up, PERFECT!! Our John is perfect in just every way, shape, and form. Sure, he can be a bit ornery at times, but he just takes after his dad like that.

So, I tried to find a song that would describe a day with John. What came to mind? Lou Reed's Perfect day, but I couldn't use the original since it sounds rather depressing. Instead, I remembered a version from the BBC full of cool people like Tom Jones, David Bowie, Emmylou Harris, Tammy Wynette, Lou Reed, and Shane MacGowan (the scary looking guy who's missing his teeth at 1:47. Maybe someday, John will grown to love his music as much as I).

There's No Mistaking That He's Our John

I have known to snore like a buzz saw. Maureen has been known to saw a few logs (only when pregnant). John makes his own noises. Oh well, I guess we are noisy sleepers.

John and Simon

Maureen said this photo reminded her of Simon Cowell since it exposes much of John's chest. No, he doesn't quite have the chest hair that Simon does, but I'm sure he will since he is my Mini-Me and my chest is rather hirsute. God willing, John will be as successful, if not more, than Simon.

Ice Cream Social

The boy is not even three months old and he's already attending ice cream socials. I fear he may be a politician since he seems to like to press the flesh, shake hands, and meet people.

Happy John

Our John is quite a happy lad. We like to keep him that way. You'd be wise to keep him that way as well. It's in your best interests. Believe me, I've lived through the 3-hours of non-stop crying until I started to hum the tune of Fur Elise to our boy. If all else fails, remember Beethoven or Mancini with Baby Elephant Walk.

John Speaks

For the first 30-seconds, John is just breathing kind of heavily. Not the creepy dirty phone call kind of breathing, but the "I'm a baby and really don't quite get the hang of breathing just yet" kind of breathing. He's assessing the situation. At about 35-seconds, he turns into a Yakety-Yak as Cousin Shelby would say.

Happy Birthday Mrs. Lowther aka Aunt China

Next time, look a little happier when holding the Golden Child.

A FiveHead

Most people have a forehead. Our John has what is commonly known as a fivehead. It definitely comes from my side of the family. My grandfathers and my father had/has quite the fivehead going. Be that as it may, that doesn't stop John from being the most rufus baby out there. As one of Maureen's cousin's said, "That boy is going places!" He's either going to be a star or wind up in an asylum from all the pressure.

The Baptism is Set

November 15, 2008...if you are on the short list, be there or be square. After that date, we won't have to worry about Limbo (I know the Pope disavowed the concept, but it's hard to shake my catechism).

Magua the Huron

In an earlier post, I mentioned that John really like Magua from Last of the Mohicans. If you haven't seen the movie, do yourself a favor and go see it. Anyway, I have made the unilateral decision that John will dress up as Magua the Huron pretending to be a Mohican for Halloween. See, his hair is ready for Halloween...just kidding. Maureen's in charge of John's Halloween attire.

Father Chuck, Is That You?

The former pastor at Cathedral Chapel parish, Fr. Chuck (God rest his soul), was a very nice man. He was into science fiction and had some interesting sermons. There was one aspect of him that was odd...his hair. Either he had really bad hair or it was just an awful toupee. It was round yet flat at the same time, if that can be believed. Anyway, when I saw this photo of John, I immediately thought of Fr. Chuck. I can assure you that John's hair is real. I can't do the same for Fr. Chuck, good man that he was.

The Kar-a-te Kid

John is well on his way to winning the All Valley Tournament. He can take on any of Sensei's evil Cobra Kai guys. Next thing you know, we're going to move to the South Seas Aprtments on Corbin in Reseda to get that true Karate Kid feel.

I'm Number One...No, That Means Something Else

I think John is growing a little tired of our photo shoots. Whilst going through the proofs, I noticed this shot. I don't know about you, but that's not exactly a nice hand gesture where I come from.

First, he moons the doctor. Now, he flips us the bird. Be strong Little John (Actually, I can't call him Little John since that name is already taken). For that reason, we'll just call him JD.

Happy Belated Birthday Cousin Marielena

We are terribly sorry, but it slipped our minds to wish Marielena a happy birthday on September 1st. John will make it up to you.

Happy Birthday Cousin Shelby

John can't wait to meet you.

The World Is His

Do you see that lovely cupcake in his hands? My boy was kind enough to bring it home for me after his trip to the movies with Maureen today. They saw The Women. Thank God John went with his mother. I don't think I could have handled it.

Did you happen to see the positioning of his hands? It's very similar to Mr. Burns whenever he says, "Excellent" on The Simpsons. This is his serious look. I'm sure he's plotting on ways to take over the world. Jesus said, "Render unto Caesar that which Caesar is due" when questioned by some about what they should give to the Roman emperor. Well, I'm telling you: RENDER UNTO JOHN WHAT JOHN IS DUE!!" You have been warned. Don't call me blasphemous. I'm just paraphrasing something from one of the Gospels.

For those of you that are curious, the cupcake comes from The Farm of Beverly Hills and it is good. As Rodney Bingenheimer would say, "It's godhead man."

A Shirt Grandpa Brady Would Have Loved

Maureen always said that her dad loved polo shirts that had pockets on the chest for his smokes. Well, if we had some miniature cigarettes, we'd place some in the pocket of John's shirt and give him a small cadillac margarita to hold in honor of his grandpa.

Last Night

We went to a 72nd birthday party. I was my typical self and didn't eat the food since I'm not much for Asian food in general. I do apologize to my hosts for that, but I'm a meat and potatoes boy all the way. Anywho, John made a few friends whilst he was there. First, he made quite an impression on H (on the right). He'd just go up to John and start to scream. Then, he enthralled K (on the left) and her friend S. They kept on asking question after question. Don't ask what kind of questions. We didn't get a picture of M because she was a little shy. She's K younger sister. H is their cousin.

Anyway, it was a lovely party and it was one of John's first social events. He wore his coming home from the hospital outfit. Maureen and I were so drained the night we brought him home that we didn't think to get any photos. Actually, we had to cut him out of the onesie that they gave us at the hospital. We were a little worried about trying to take it off over his head.

John and the Two Jons

Today, my favorite telethon is on tv. I was ever so excited to introduce John to it...especially since Jon Voight ALWAYS appears and dances on it. I thought it would be a good idea to have John, Jon Voight (the teddy bear), and Jon Voight (the Academy Award nominated actor) in the same shot.

Hell's Half Acre Visit

John came into the office yesterday. He delighted the masses and pressed the flesh. He also decided to drop a deuce while visiting. Don't worry, I used a stoner's best friend, Ozium, to cover up the mal odor. In the photos, he's interacting with his fans, Robin and Maral. Actually, he's clocking Maral.

John Is Quite The Story Teller

I'm not quite sure what yarns his spinning, but his mother seems to undestand.

Traumatic Experience...Well, Not Really Traumatic

Today was John's 2-month check-up with Dr. K. Before heading off to the doctor, John was in good spirits. He was wearing a Ralph Lauren onsie that is super soft. He was smiling and playing with Maureen. He had a pretty good day up to that point. He made his first trip to Target in West Hollywood.

So, we went to to Dr. K's office on Wilshire Blvd. The only thing I don't like about the office is that they don't validate parking. At $1.25/15 minutes, they make a killing. I've never left that office with a parking tab under $6, but they do cap it at $10, so I'm not going to whine about it. Anywho, John weighed in at a healthy 12-lbs 4-oz. He has gained 4-lbs since his birth in July. His length is now 24 inches. He's grown 4-inches since his birth. He's growing at a nice rate. He's within the normal growth range for a child his age.

Dr K answered all of Maureen's obsessive questions. She's been reading too many books. I only had a question about his belly button. It is hyper-pigmented. I thought it was dirt. Excuse me for thinking that my child had a dirty belly button. The good thing about Dr. K is that he is very practical and matter of fact. He's soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo concerned with safety. He always asks us the same safety questions, but it's only because he cares. He's so safety conscious that he could work at the large multinational for which I work.

John was very cooperative during his check-up. He followed Dr. K's Number One Rule: NO PEEING ON THE DOCTOR!! He was very mellow and Dr K was kind enough to let us know that John had some smegma and how to remove it. After that, he told John, "Now remember, I'm the good doctor. The mean and nasty nurse is going to come in and give you your shots." He's a smart man, but then again, I suppose you have to be pretty smart, or hopped up on speed, to graduate from med school.

I'd heard horror stories about the first set of vaccinations. I thought John would be crying for hour after hour and that both Maureen and I would be curled up into a fetal position due to the discomfort on John. The nurse was quite smooth. She was quick and quite caring. Yes, John did cry. He actually turned bright red in the face. He cried, but it wasn't as bad as we expected. John was a little cranky since he was hungry, so maybe it helped that Maureen gave him a bottle after the shots. When we left the room, the nurses were shocked that John was asleep. They'd never seen that. They expected him to be crying. I'm sure John could have made it as a Spartan baby. While he may not have the physique of Leonidas just yet, he can still kill any wolf that comes to attack him.

Flood in the Bathroom

For some reason, water leaked out of our shower, not once, not twice, but thrice (I just wanted to use that fancy way of saying three times) in the past week. Since he's so helpful, John decided to wear some flood pants to help me clean them up (J/K). Those are actually some pants that he's outgrown.

Every time he outgrows something, I just think of the song, Sunrise Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof. Well, I don't think of a bunch of Russian Jews singing the song, but I think of Maureen and me singing the song about our Teeny Little Super Guy.

Cute Shots

No interesting stories, just photos today.

Here's a shot of the happy baby after watching TV with dad. What does he watch? We enjoy shows like Notorious, Gangland, and Mobsters on the History and Biography Channels. John will be the only student in the first grade who'll know all sorts of things about gangs and serial killers. I'm trying to train him to be a Profiler in the FBI. Don't think it's just me that watches these shows. Maureen and he take in quite a few episodes of Law & Order SVU. I'll be sure to post a listing of what John watches.

This is a shot taken a moment or two after we asked John if he wanted to drive out the Hell's Half Acre aka Moorpark on Friday. Being the rufus dude that he is, he gave us the coolest greaser in 1950's Milwaukee, the Fonz!! I can't wait for him to go around saying things like, "Ayyyyy!" and giving the thumbs up. Kind of retro, but true cool never goes out of style.

Maureen has been following all sorts of milestones in John's life. Lately, he's discovered his hands. He stares at the hand so much that his baby browns go cross-eyed.

John and El Debarge

From time to time, I'll sing something to John. Today, I had was inspired to sing that hit from 1986, Who's Johnny, from the hit motion picture, Short Circuit. Everyone who knows this song knows that El Debarge sang it. I went so far as to play the video of the song on YouTube for JD, but he was not moved. I also played Debarge's The Rhythm of the Night from Barry Gordy's Last Dragon. John was having none of it as well. I suppose he just doesn't like anything by anyone associated with the Debarge Family. Neither he, nor Jon Voight were in the mood for these shenanigans.

The last time I heard about El Debarge was I think 1995. I was driving up Ventura Blvd in Encino and notice a banner on the side of Stevie's Creole Cafe & Bar. It stated: This Friday and Saturday Night: El Debarge. I thought it was nice to see that he could still get a gig.

A Great Guy

Maureen and John went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond yesterday to get some home goods. I can't say what because there's a present for someone involved. Anyway, as I opened the door, I saw this site. My boy had a box of Charleston Chews. God bless his ever loving heart.

The First Sunday Mass

John was very good. He wasn't too fussy which is quite interesting since it was rather hot in the church. He did ok with the singing. I was shocked. I could barely take it. I'm always surprised that people applaud at the end of mass. Grammy Brady thinks small children shouldn't wear collars since they don't have necks, but I think John pulls it off quite nicely. He was so exhausted after mass and lunch at Fiddler's Bistro that he had to just take a nice nap in his crib with his teddy bear, Jon Voight.

Big Day Today

We're taking John to Mass for the first time ever. We'll see how he does and I'll post a full report later this evening. Maureen even purchased an outfit for his first visit to Sunday Mass. Apparently, he went to First Friday the other day. I hope he can handle some horrible singing because the woman who sings and plays the organ is AWFUL!! She sings three octaves above what anyone can sing and she uses far too much vibratto for my liking. Oh well, if John starts howling, that'll confirm our opinion. Maureen and I always agree that the singing is just horrible whilst Grandman Brady insists that the organist has a lovely voice.

A Boy and His Teddy Bear...Named Jon Voight

Maureen purchased John a new teddy bear yesterday at Pottery Barn Kids yesterday. It's soft and safe, at least that's what I'm told. Why Jon Voight? Look at the scarf. Jon Voight always wears a white scarf. It's as simple as that.

The Little Rascal

Unbeknownst to me, the rounded collar on a shirt is called a Peter Pan collar. I always thought it was just an old fashioned rounded collar. Here are a couple of good shots from what I like to call, The Little Rascal photo shoot due to his rounded collar reminding me of Spanky's shirts. It was early in the day and John was in a cooperative mood. Being the professional that he is, he took my direction quite well and gave us frame after frame of pure photography gold. Notice, he knows how to smile with his eyes. If he were a girl and on America's Next Top Model, Tyra Banks would complement him for that.



I like to call this one, "Wasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssup!" after those old Budweiser ads. I wish they'd bring those back. As annoying as they were, they spawned the best viral clip ever made...The Super Friends Wassssssssssssup.




In case you didn't know, I love the Super Friends. I plan to show John the Super Friends and point out the good ones like Green Lantern with his will power based ring and the bad ones like Aquaman with his super swimming powers.

The Votes Are In

We have a tie. Somehow, some people voted for Darryl Hall by himself. Michael McDonald should have won hands down. He appeared on What's Happening!!! Come on people. If you haven't heard his soulful rendition of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, you are just missing out. Oh well, we'll expose John to both. Maureen does like both artists, but for Hall, we'll have to include Oates. For Michael McDonald, we can use some of his greats with the Doobie Brothers, Kenny Loggins, James "Ya Mo Be There" Ingram, and his own solo career.

John and His Old Clothes

It seems that John is growing by leaps and bounds. He no longer fits into his newborn clothing. We took advantage of the One Day Sale at Macy's yesterday. Most of our items were only 40 to 60 percent of the original price. We like the Macy's One Day Sale. They have them every other week.

McCain 2008

We like to keep John informed on all aspects of life. Maureen gives him all the highlights from US and People magazines. I'll give him the world view from the Economist and the business perspective from Business Week. Our little boy is going to be well rounded. Whether he's at a party in the hills of Hollywood or at a state affair in Brussles, our John will be able to have a conversation with absolutely anyone about absolutely anything.

Art Shot

Here's the obligatory sepia tone shot.

90210

As a family, we have been watching the new 90210 on the CW. John had some interesting reactions to some of the characters. When Hannah Zuckerman-Velasquez came on the screen, he cringed. Much like me, he dislikes Andrea Zuckerman. If Hannah's on, then Andrea just might be on. Please resist the temptation to bring her back. She had no place on the original show in the first place.

He does seem to like the tone of the show. Maureen and I were quite tickled when they showed the Peach Pit and Nat Bussicho. We were worried about Joe E Tata. He hasn't really done much since the end of the original show. He even mentioned Willie. Our hope is that they bring back the actor who portrayed Willie and give him his 1-line per season that allowed him to keep his SAG card.

First Laugh

Does this sound like a laugh to you? If only our boy could sustain that laughter, life would be just rufus.

Go Bruins

In a couple of minutes, the Bruins will be going up against the Vols. We're not expecting too much out of the Bruins this season, but miracles have been known to happen.