BM's

I know it's not a great subject, but it is one that I must address. Yesterday and this morning, I had the most unfortunate experience to change John after he had created a mess in his diaper. I say created a mess because that is exactly what he did. It was all over. I have no idea how it got to some of the places that it did, but I was less than enthusiastic about it. Maureen says it's a daily occurrence for her, but I can only speak to my dismay.

Anywho, I'd like to start giving John fiber tablets or powders. I figure that would help congeal his slurry (I call it that because that's what it is) into a nice little lump. It'll be much easier to clean and all will be right in the world. DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. I'm just saying that it might make clean-up a little easier. Oh well, one can dream, can't he?

John Likes Magua

My boy and I were watching The Last of the Mohicans on Thursday night. Do you think he liked the hero, Hawkeye? Oh no, he liked Magua, the renegade Huron. In my opinion, Magua is one of the most EVIL fictional characters ever. His speech about putting the gray hair's, Col. Munroe, children under the knife so the gray hair's seed will be wiped off the face of the earth is one of the most wicked things you'll ever hear. Wes Studi brings such a cold blooded reading of that speech. It gives me chills, but as you can see, John seemed to enjoy it in the clip below.

Really, the movie is not a substitute for the book, but it was a great film. Maybe, I'll stop reading from the writings of Abraham Lincoln. He doesn't seem to respond to the writings of our 16th president. Perhaps, I should switch to some sort of poetry or that book of daily life lessons written by the Rev Joseph "Run" Simmons. Remember, reading is fundamental.

John's Big Night

Last Night, John went over to Grandma and Grandpa G's becuase

Maureen and I had a wedding to attend (more on that later). His Lowther and Borrego aunts, uncles, and cousins came to see him. His cousin, Anamargarita (I call her Suri to keep things simple), wanted to get into the swing with him. She kept on saying "Please Mama." What's not to love about that little charmer.

They said he was a very good boy, but I don't know if that was true. Knowing my son as I do, I tend to think of him like that Elvis song, Devil in Disguise:

You look like an angel

Walk like an angel

Talk like an angel

But I got wise

You're the devil in disguise

Oh yes you are

The devil in disguise

If he truly is the devil in disguise, that's ok with me. I used to be the same way. I never got in trouble in school because teachers didn't think I would talk during class. When you are smart, you can get away with murder in school. So, we'll see how he turns out at school.

The wedding was mommy and daddy's first night out sing John was born. The wedding took place at the Bel-Air Bay Club on the patio overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The bride, Rachel, looked radiant and the groom, Kevin, had a damn fine haircut. His new sister-in-law referred to it as the "George W", but I think it looked rather smart. I even commented to Maureen about it when he walked out.

As the ceremony started, a plane flew overhead. My feeling was that it was some papparazzo trying to get photos of a celebrity wedding. Sorry, the Bel-Air Bay Club doesn't admit those people as members. They casue too much drama and trouble.

The reception was quite nice. We sat at a Cousin's table. Rachel's cousins from Midland, New York, and Miami were quite delightful. They were full of life and seemed genuinely interested about John. Unfortunately, we had to leave at 9:30 to go pick up the Prince of the Universe.

When we got to Grandma and Grandpa's, John was whining. He tends to do that when he's sleepy. We tried to get him in his car seat, but he wouldn't have any of that. I had to resort to putting him in the swing. That mellowed him out. By the time, we made a left onto the street, he was out like a light. I wish I could fall asleep like that.

One Month Old

John is officially one month old. Apparently, he was acting like quite the fussbudget this afternoon. I do not find that hard to believe at all. Our John is still discovering his voice and he hasn't quite learned the concept of respect. I have had many conversations with the boy on the topic, but I don't think it's sunk in yet.

Anyway, I don't know what'll be the viewing agenda tonight. It is the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance. John doesn't like Katie. He shakes violently when he sees her dance. He didn't like her wishy-washy nature in the Las Vegas editions. Go Josh or Twitch!!

Free Photos

Unlike the Pitt-Jolie's , the McConnaghey-Alves', Warren-Alba's, and the Spears-Whatever Her Baby Daddy's name is, Maureen and I choose to post photos of John for free. We feel that John is a gift to be shared with all. We do not believe in pimping our child out to the highest bidder...well, until he get's that three picture deal with Warner Brothers or Disney, then all bets are off.

I will note that the Pitt-Jolie's do donate their money to charity, so that's good, but do the others really need all the money. McConaghey and Alba make bajillions and their movies don't make any money. Maybe Jamie Lynn needs the money since I don't think Nickelodeon will welcome her backto Zoey 101. I doubt they'll allow teen mothers on their channel. Besides, I-Carly is on the channel. Who needs Jamie-Lynn when you have Miranda?

John's Matriculation After Grade 12

Maureen has already determined where John will be attending his primary and secondary education. So, I thought I'd open it up to the rest of you to give me your two cents on where he should matriculate upon completion of high school. Below, you'll find the school's and my thoughts:

Loyola Marymount University: It's been my experience that anyone who attended that school has this unnatural love for the school. They all flock to live around the campus and they attend the sporting events. Why? They haven't had a winning team in God knows how long. On top of that, there are some very liberal Jesuits there. I'm shocked they haven't been excommunicated for some of the things they've said. Then again, I shouldn't say anything bad about the Jesuits since my confirmation name is Ignatius.

UCLA: I didn't have a great experience there. I didn't have a bad experience there. It was just blah. The professors are far too liberal for my taste. I can't tell you the number of lectures that I sat through which bordered on Marxist teachings. If I were a political science major, that would have been fine, but I was an economics major. WTF?

Brymann College: Maureen and I both remember watching the commercials for this nursing school back in the day on the local tv channels (KCOP and KTTV to be precise). If John wants to be a nurse, then so be it. If Gaylord Focker could forgo medical school in favor of nursing school, JD can do it too.

Devry University: Back in the day, I remember that it was called the Devry Institute of Technology. When it changed names, I cannot recall, but their commercials always have happy people talking about their great jobs and dancing around. Who wouldn't want to be happy and dancing? Maybe Leonard Cohen, I don't know.

The Hypnosis Motivation Institute: I tossed this one in there because I used to work there. I was called a production assistant, but my title should have been Boy, as in, "Boy, go get this. Boy, drop off the mail." It's fully accredited and in a lovely spot on Ventura Blvd. Plus, they'll teach him that "Success is truly not an accident."

USC: I'm torn on this one because it is UCLA's rival school; however, John's grandfather, Dick, went there. Plus, he could make connections there that will last him a lifetime. And, it's probably not as liberal as UCLA.

Leonard Cohen Music

Last night, John and I were watching Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man on DVR. Maureen was kind enough to record it and I was speeding through the stories and moving onto the performances. When Nick Cave started singing Suzanne, John started moving his arms and legs as if he were dancing. I told him, "John, you really don't dance to Leonard Cohen music. You just sit, think about life, and drink a manly drink. Additionally, you really can't dance to many Nick Cave songs. You just sit, think about life, and drink a manly drink." It didn't help that Nick Cave was snapping his fingers and grooving to the music. As much as I admire him, he just looks odd trying to groove to a song as such. It has soul, but it's not a soul song.

The Results Are In

The poll was a trick question. At one point or another, my hope is that John will be allowed to watch all of these programs.

John is truly excited because he'll be allowed to watch these programs at different stages of his life. Early on, he'll be allowed to watch Davey & Goliath. He'll learn all the necessary life lessons with a nice Christian message through a boy and his dog.

With Little House on the Prairie, he'll learn all about hard times, fires, floods, blindness, creepy men who wear masks, and adoption. Really, it seems that all Charles and Carolyn Ingalls did in their later years was to adopt every ragamuffin that crossed their paths.

I need not say anything about the Little Rascals. If you grew up watching them, you'd see that kids do get along. I'm tired of the people who claim that the racialist charaters (Buckwheat, Farina, and Stymie) were horrible and should be forgotten. If anything, all the kids were eqauls and got along. Plus, my hope is that John will be as spunky as a young Spanky. The best episodes featured Spanky when he was 3 or 4 years old.

As for the Warriors, it's going to be a while before John gets to watch it. I look forward to being there as he watches the movie. Hopefully, he'll enjoy it and want to put bottles on his fingers and say, "Warriors, come out to play-aaaaaaay!" If he doesn't, I'll be ok with that. Not everyone needs to love that movie.

John's Official Theme Music

I can think of no better song than Princes of the Universe by Queen.



The song describes the boy to a "T". He is a Prince of the Universe. He's badass to carry it out. Maureen and I shall enroll him in sword school since he'll have a band of immortals coming after him. Plus, it comes from Highlander (one of my favorite movies. And, it's a movie that won an Oscar for Best Movie Ever Made...or so, Ricky Bobby says.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Los Angeles

John made his first visit to a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. He feels the need to support local businesses since CB&TL was founded in Los Angeles. No, he didn't have anything to drink, but Maureen decided to take a bit of a walkabout this morning with the stroller. Mother had her standard decaffinated blended beverage and John just sat there brooding. I think he'll be like dad and take to drinking Red Bull because it really does give you wings...especially if you drink the big can.

Hmmmmmmmm, we may have to refer to him as the dark and brooding John which would be ok. Heathcliff, not the cat, but the character in Wuthering Heights, was dark and brooding and he went on to usurp the landed gentry of Thrushcross Grange. I could think of worse things than being a feared landlord.