Three Week Check Up

John was quite the trooper today. He went to visit Dr. K (the man's a living saint. he just got back from a camp for terminally ill children that he runs.) Being a natural crank like all Gonzalez men, he didn't exactly like being poked and prodded, but he dealt with it.

Our John is officially 9.4-lbs. He's almost gained a full pound between check-ups. Dr. K says the normal weight gain would have been 0.5-lbs, but he said there's no right or wrong amount. He's also 22-inches long. That's 2-inches longer than when he was born. Within a few years, I'm sure he'll tower over Maureen and then finally over me. We shall enjoy our little boy as he grows to manhood. He'll always be our little guy.

Heck, I still call our 18-year old nephew, Dillon, by the affectionate name, "Boy". He towers over me, but he'll always be the little baby that I smeared Crisco in his hair in an effort to style his hair like Elvis. He'll always be the 4-year old boy who traded his sister Alexis to me for a bag of spicy peanuts.

Enough of that tomfoolery. Based on John's weight gain, I have decided to start training him to enter the World's Strongest Man competition. John will be greater than 4-time winners Jon Pall Sigmarsson and Magnus Ver Magnusson . I'm going to start dropping some MET-Rx and Creatine into his Enfamil. He'll be screaming BEEFCAKE!! BEEFCAKE!!! in no time. That's the recipe for success. I just know it.

Sure, Maureen might disagree. She'd probably want him to exceed Mariusz Pudzianowski's records, but I'll always take an Icelandic strong man over a Polish strong man.

Plus, Iceland is just loads of fun and no one's ever invaded it...well, except the Vikings. Poland has constantly been invaded and divided. You just never know when Vladamir Putin is going to order Russian troops to invade or reclaim "ancient Russian land."

On a side note, Dr. K made a really funny comment. Whilst checking out John's hoohoodilly, he said the following: "Wow, who did the circumcision? He did a great job." I was tempted to say a moyle did it, but that wouldn't fly since neither Maureen nor I am of the Chosen People. Since we dress JD in white, we could say that we had just paid a visit to the Kaballah Center in West Hollywood but that wouldn't be cool either.

Anywho, I'd include a photo, but that'd be too weird and I wouldn't want to offend any of our loyal readers (namely Kievy). Suffice it to say, Dr. K was impressed with the job.